Summer of Stallone

Three summers ago, I moved to Austin knowing almost nobody in town.  As a result, I spent a lot of time at Blockbuster* and found myself drawn repeatedly to the Action section.  Somehow I had never seen any of the Rocky movies, a fact that was quickly remedied.  Most people consider Rocky IV to be the best of the saga.  It's hard to argue with a screenplay that include lines like "I must break you," and some even credit the movie with ending the Cold War.  I, on the other hand, was sold at the saga's third installment.  Rocky III introduces the world to the Survivor anthem "Eye of the Tiger."  It is also the first time Mr. T. utters the phrase "I pity the fool."  For three years now I've vowed to be Clubber Lang for Halloween.  This cinematic giant also provides fans with the ultimate bromantic montage: a sequence of training clips featuring Rocky as he tries to best Apollo Creed in beach running.  How can you forget the cameo appearance in which Hulk Hogan plays the monstrous Thunder Lips?  I submit that you cannot.  It's too great.  All this to say, I was immediately on the Stallone bandwagon.  Unfortunately, the demands of my job and various other factors distracted me from my new find.  It was, in fact, another year and a half before I ventured into Rambo territory.  

* In the interest of full disclosure, I have always been resistant to new technological developments.  I hated DVDs for years, and didn't even give up my VCR until that same summer when my brother forced me to dispose of the no-longer functioning box when he moved me out of College Station.  That should be a sufficient explanation for why I still clung to a Blockbuster card first printed in 1992, just one decade after the release of Rocky III.

Fast forward to this past February.  During a flurry of Super Bowl-week podcasts, Bill Simmons and a contributing friend of his conceived the greatest movie-yet-to-be-made: Rambocky.  The premise consists of Rocky and various other celebrity boxers on a USO tour to entertain the American troops serving overseas.  Captured by terrorists, there's only one person the government can trust to capably save them: John Rambo.  Around the same time, I became fast friends with two brothers upon learning of their shared appreciation for Bill Simmons and immediate dedication to the hope that Rambocky someday comes to fruition as a motion picture.  They quickly assessed that my love for Stallone is surface level.  Having viewed only various Rocky and Rambo installments (although not either saga in its entirety), and I think probably the movie Daylight at a middle school slumber party, I have merely scratched the surface of his impressive resume.  (Oh! And The Expendables!  I'm ashamed that I so quickly forgot a movie for which I had a countdown to the release date.)  This cannot go on. 

Thus, I officially proclaim this The Summer of Stallone. 

A few weeks ago, I was explaining Rambocky to my trainer, who immediately started telling me of his favorite Stallone movies.  When he learned that I had never seen (or heard of) Over the Top, he promptly went home and ordered a copy for me on Amazon.  

He tried to explain the plot to me, but I heard arm-wrestling, gambling, and truck-driving.  That was all I needed.  The back of the DVD provides the following synopsis: 

Rocky and Rambo star Sylvester Stallone gives fans another reason to stand up and cheer.  He stars as hard-luck big-rig trucker Lincoln Hawk and takes us under the glaring Las Vegas lights for all the boisterous action of the World Armwrestling Championship in Over the Top (co-scripted by Stallone).  

Relying on wits and willpower, Hawk tries to rebuild his life by capturing the first-place prize money - and the love of the son (David Mendenhall) he abandoned years earlier into the keeping of his rich, ruthless father-in-law (Robert Loggia).  He matches muscles with some of the game's gargantuan greats - and grips you tightly with a rousing finale in crowd-pleasing Rocky style.  Grab hold for rip-roaring fun!

Sounds like a recipe for awesomeness, right?  It was.  Be comforted by the knowledge that I now own my own copy of this film and would be glad to share it with you at any time.  Between now and then, prepare yourself for reviews of other Stallone classics including, but not limited to: Judge Dredd, Demolition Man, and Cliffhanger.  

Don't be shy!  If you have a favorite I haven't named yet, make sure to comment and I will add it to the list.  If you would like to join me for an official watch-party for any of these movies, just say the word and I will do what I can.  Let the Summer of Stallone begin!